A doomed start? #lifeblog

So recently I've started a new sixth form, I really wanted a change from my old school as I felt I never really fitted in anywhere whilst there but I made some great friends. So this new school has a great reputation for pushing students to their potential  but on the other hand I also had another option to go to a much less strict and casual sixth form college but ended up choosing the prison-dystopian nightmare school!

Perhaps i'm exaggerating a little here. At first I found it very hard to settle, this school requires maximum effort in the organisation department, which is not one of my best attributes, but I must admit this new school is helping me with that quite a lot. The annoying things seem to be it finishes at 4:10!!! :o and starts at 8.25? Like hello? Is this legal please? 

As for the social life, of course I wanted to meet new people. Two girls that I play volleyball with was also going to this school, and on the first day I found out they were no longer friends so I stayed with the one I was closest with. Let call her Em for narrative sake. Em was cool, and we decided to go school together for the first week. We became quite close and then I made friends with this boy (we shall call him Dean) from Em's old school. The three of us became really close over the following two weeks, they were really fun and I love hanging out with them but of course we all wanted to meet more new people because I had basically already known Em and it felt the same with Dean, plus they lived in my area.   

So then things started to take a downwards spiral, school was becoming so stressful for me. Don't get me wrong I'm that saddo that likes writing essays and researching my subjects at further depth however I'm incredibly slow at everything I do. This was leaving me with piles and piles of homework, plus I also have a part time on the job on the weekends making it extremely difficult to get all my essays done. This meant I was spending lunches, free periods and sometimes even break doing my work. Em and Dean were becoming really annoyed, I was getting upset that didn't understand I had to do my work. If we don't get our homework done in this school they kick you out after about three times, but for me it was just fear of getting shouted at. This must sound SO stupid but if you saw the way students get shouted at in this school it would literally make you cry. 

Bearing in mind I'm now in my fifth week of school and the pressure of studies is getting better, as i'm finding ways to get my load down. Although while I was studying in my frees and lunch, Em and Dean have made lots of new friends and I'm kind of lost right now of where we stand. I know its me aswell, I'm finding it hard to make conversations and I'm not really that much of anti-social person but I've never been Queen B either. I'm starting to realise that maybe I am quite a shy person, and I hate this about my self. There's also lots of thing about my personality that need to change, I'm not perfect by far. Who is?

Today was the first day Em and Dean didn't wait for me after school, I don't feel sad about it and this was inevitable. I really hope things get better, there are some lovely people at the school but I'm either to shy or just haven't had the chance to talk to them yet. I can't live in a box the rest of my life! I need to jump at opportunities and live to the fullest, or else what was the point? 

:(

 So that was my essay on life. thanks for reading if you got this far! Comment below if you like ;) or not what evs haha!  

Lots of kisses xxxxxx